Sunday, August 01, 2004

Am feeling envious of Tini's blog. Even if I were able to go into the gory details they wouldn't be exciting as almost getting caught in a pig-trap, or walking 20 miles over hills to get anywhere.

Last night I went to a 'Baile de Finalistas' = Finalist's Ball = Prom (in America). In fact it was for the brother of my friend Kika, but she had taken it upon herself to invite loads of her own friends. It was v. glitzy, Nina (girlfriend, we have been going out for long enough for it to be official now) in a ball dress and scary heels, me in Kilt and all the regalia.

After we had managed to find some seats in Kika's family's 'zone' of the massive hall (actually a converted industrial warehouse), I went to get drinks, way down at the far end. The 'bar' was in fact a family operation run out of some hastily-opened drinks crates. Mum fired drinks out in all directions in super-efficient fashion, Daughter sat at the back texting on her cellphone in an unhelfpul fashion, and I was lumped with Son who was useless, despite his ponytail.

While he struggled with complex tasks like opening a bottle, finding glasses, pouring without spilling etc, all the while shouting at Mum for help - sound familiar? - I was engaged in conversation by the Snappily-Dressed-Guy to my right, in English:
SNG: I like your style (eyes kilt etc.)
Cam: thanks very much
SNG: have you got a puss?
Cam: sorry?
SNG: I said, have you got a puss?
Cam: (giving benefit of doubt): oh this? well actually, its not a purse, its called a sporran, really handy actually
SNG: No, no, I mean a PUSS - like a woman!!
Cam: (switching to Portuguese for crystal clarity): you know, if we were in Scotland I'd punch you for that. But since its your country, no problem.
SNG: Hey, no offence, man, I mean, it was just a joke
Cam: mm-hmm, whatever, talk to the hand
SNG: (exit stage left...)

Luckily everyone else thought Scottish attire was enchanting rather than cross-dressing, although one guy enthusiastically said "your outfit is great - where are you from - England??!!". I, along with assembled company, rolled eyes in Unison and someone whispered "escocia".

So it all worked out happily in the end...

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